I wish i was strong

Everybody says
I m strong.
but is it really so? 

I still remember the day
when my grandma was taking her last breath
i saw everybody crying around me
i held my tears
just to wish that she will b fine
but someone said something
that left me moron.
she said u don't have feelings
n u have a heart of stone! 

Nobody knew
how much i cried silently
how much i loved her deeply
and countless sleepless nights
Everybody says one thing.
U r so strong, 
coz u never cry! 

And then came the time
when my brother had to go
far away from me 
to make his carrier.
this was like a dream which was scarier.
i wanted to tell him
i cant let u go
coz i love u the most.
which u'll never know.

whenever i eat Maggie, 
i remember those times
when he would force me into kitchen
in the middle of night
to make Maggie n get something to eat
n company him with a movie
which was so sweet.

whenever i drive activa
i feel tears rolling down
and my heart pounding
to feel the empty seat behind
and silence all around.

what happened is question
asked by friends
and i answer the same.
it is coz of discomfort
caused by lens! 

I feel so lonely
even in group of friends.
but i always try to keep a smile on my face
which has now become a trend.
coz nobody likes sad faces
everybody is busy in their own races.

i don't want sympathy
i don't wanna complain.
i just want someone to hold my hand
and look into my eyes whenever m sad
to smile and say
cheer up stupid
i know you are lying
don't show me ur fake smile
coz i know, from inside u r crying!